Monday, 13 January 2014

Script to Screen initial plotline

I've written how I imagine the animation to pan out, but I am acutely aware of how long it, and that certain aspects could be cropped out- and feedback on this would be very welcome!

-Poor little girl and mother walk through Tokyo park
-Girl looks at children on roller skates sadly
-Mum notices and gives daughter a coin
-Girl excitedly drags mum down street to rundown photo-booth
-They pose for photos, every time a photo is taken, the father is seen in the background
-Mother pins photos on notice board, next to photos of her and her husband when younger
-Another photo-booth scene w/ snaps over time of happy couple, father starts wearing a suit and gradually starts to look more depressed
-On notice board we see bills and eviction notices
-Mother looks at daughter playing on floor w/ rollerskating doll surrounded by "moving house" boxes
-Mother at work in restaurant/ bar, drunken man grabs her bum
-She is crying outside, ghostly hand comes out of wall and touches her shoulder to comfort her
-She looks up past cityscapes towards mountains and forestry
-Ghostly rope wraps round her as if dragging her towards forest
-Flashback of father running through forest disorientated with rope wrapped round his waist and winding through trees. He stops and looks up at big tree.
-Mother has stern determined expression, shakes her head then runs back inside
-Mother surprises daughter with roller skates
-Pair hug and screen pans up to night sky where one star is flickering brighter than the others.

1 comment:

  1. Not sure I quite get this yet, Livi. So, the photobooth reveals the presence of the dead father, who committed suicide in the past. Does the mother and daughter see the ghost then? The photobooth sort of falls away into irrelevance in the end. I'm wondering if you could distil your idea a bit further. It feels to me that the idea of the woman going to the photobooth to be with her dead husband again is nice and strong; it feels like a grief stage - denial - as if she goes there to keep her life with him in stasis. I can imagine, therefore, how the Photobooth might be a place the mother finally 'leaves' or stops visiting when she's moving away from her grief.

    The juggler isn't really present in this current idea - or should I say the businessman juggling his duties isn't available to the audience as visual information. I wonder if you need to commit more fully to this aspect of your story components; it feels a little thin and too diluted. You know, you've committed pretty strongly to the Japanese aspect, and now I'm wondering if this is blocking other sorts of ideas at this early stage?

    Using the photobooth and the photographs it creates to 'narrate' change is a neat device - there's something beginning to cook here, Livi - but I don't think you're there quite yet...