Actually, my first continental trips weren’t to Spain, I was going to Belgium before that, for Bike Rallies just outside Ostend.
And um, that used to land up to be quite an experience because Belgium has some amazing beers,
Not that I’m and alcoholic or anything- Only on Fridays!
Not going out tonight, Going out tomorrow.
We were stopping in a hotel in Belgium, In Ostend once, my mates and myself went over on our motorbikes.
Got absolutely- Drunk in Ostend one night, and landed up god knows what time, 2 o’clock in the morning at one of those caravans that do burgers and stuff like that.
And it was before the euro, That’s how long ago it was, It was before the euro and I’d got my Belgium money mixed up with my English money and my French money.
And um, I was trying to pay for this burger and it was six steps backwards, three to the side, two forward, one to that side.
And in the end, the fella in the burger van got so fed up with me trying to pay him in an assortment of money, he gave me the burger and told me to bugger off in Belgian.
I got back to the hotel with this burger, covered in chilli sauce or whatever it was.
And I fell asleep, Must have fallen asleep on my bed and I woke up the next morning with this burger stuck to the side of my face.
And when I went to the bathroom for a wash, I could this tomato sauce all down the side of my face,
And I looked in the mirror and I thought
“Oh my god what on Earth in my pillow going to look like”
And I went back to my bed and looked at my pillow and it was covered in sauce.
I went down for breakfast, the landlady, she’s British. The lady who owned the hotel at the time,
A West Indian Lady from Manchester moved to Belgium, She married a Belgium man and bought this hotel.
So I go downstairs to breakfast and I’m sat there with my head in my hands, all I wanted was an Orange Juice or some coffee- can’t face anything to eat.
And uh, she said “aw, you look a little rough”
And I said “Why you’re still speaking to me I have a little confession to make” I said “I made a little mess in the bed, I’ll pay for the laundry”
She looked at me, I said “no! no! no! not that sort of a mess!”
I said “I just have burger sauce all over my pillow”
She said “Oh no don’t worry about that”
She thought I’d had an accident in bed…
My Tea’s going cold.